Very cold day indeed, just indoors today

I am feeling mum-guilt at having to put my son in summer club for the summer holidays, as I have to work full-time. I know if I didn't work full time we would really struggle financially, I try to talk myself down from the guilt; by saying I am the only adult in this household, I am trying my best to provide a stable financial future and that my son does have a nice time in summer club. But the anxiety of not being the perfect parent eats away at you. I know from experience that not working and school holidays come with financial pressures and stress, as you may have more time but less disposable income to spend on non-essential things.

I feel sort of worthless as I’ve been out of work for 5 years, I feel like I am not contributing. It is something I really struggle with.

Finding this week hard financially, thinking of ways to make it easier. I wish Scotland would introduce free buses to single parents. Young people are entitled to free travel now, but a day ticket for myself costs £5.50. I live in an area where I have to get buses for shopping etc. this cost mounts up!

As my youngest son approaches his transition to secondary school I am worried about affording his school uniform. It’s been hard to juggle work responsibilities recently coupled with the flurry of busyness surrounding the end of term events. I wish we were still entitled to free school meals and I continue to worry about affording school meals once I have to pay. There’s no chance of packed lunches either. My children’s school doesn’t allow them at all. Why weren’t the free school meals entitlement rolled out for the next school year?

I don’t feel like I do anymore, I try my best I work full time, I never go out, I only spend my money on bills and have nothing left, I’m not valued by anyone ever so why would I value myself, just a number to pay bills and tax to keep the upper class where they are.

Mum guilt's kicking in already only on week 2 of summer holidays, no childcare in place can’t afford it, no clubs to break up the boring days can’t afford it, no days out can’t afford it, working full time, while my child is bored really wondering what the point is, no holiday ever, no days out, no meals out, don’t know how I’ll get the new school uniform just had enough .

That is a question that can vary day to day. There really is no day that is the same. Some days if I’m happy then I feel motivated, happy and I interact more with people. But then I have down days where I don’t want to move, feel worthless and down.

But I do try to focus on one thing in particular to try keep my spirits up. And that’s focusing on my children. When I feel down I realise they need me, I see then what my purpose is for, for them. It’s more harder to value myself outside that. But I do have odd moments where I realise I’m worth it.

I have learnt to measure my worth beyond a bank balance. It’s easy to feel reduced to a number, however my value shows up in quieter places: in the care I give, the forms I fight through, the appointments I keep, the calm I create. I matter when my son feels safe, tries something new, or takes one more step toward independence, I see my love at work in who he’s becoming, and I’m proud. These are the places I tap myself on the back and say, well done! And I celebrate every win, irrespective of how small...Its a step forward and it keeps me motivated.

I value myself by recognising the resilience I’ve built through every chapter of my life — the good, the tough, and the transformative. My worth isn’t tied to achievements or the approval of others, but to how I show up: with courage, with kindness, and with an unshakable sense of purpose.

What makes me feel like I matter is knowing that I leave spaces better than I found them — whether it's through my work, my friendships, my laughter, or the care I pour into others. I matter because I choose to love loudly, live boldly, and walk through life lifting others as I rise.

Even when things feel uncertain, I remind myself: I am the woman who kept going. And that alone means I am enough.

Hi

Taking my baby for baby class

Hi

I'm a very hard working person loving everything one full of energy even on my bad day have to be strong for the kids