We managed to go away this last weekend for 3 days abroad. This was our 1st holiday abroad in 9 years and my youngest's first ever time on a plane.

I cant remember the last time I could put away my phone and be totally present and switch off (well kind of with a 5 year old) but the mental health benefits I felt from the sun and all the life demands being removed for a couple of days was massive.

No emails and phone calls from school, constant worrying and meetings. And just peace and silence for a couple of days was bliss.

In the weeks running up to the break we were so lucky with the weather that I managed to sort out my house and garden ready for the summer when I will be having reconstructive knee surgery and be stuck at home solo parenting while trying to recover.

A few days before my break my car stopped working and the lovely man at the garage helped me out massively knowing my situation and it was my son's birthday. He only charged me for the parts and got me back on the road really quickly which I was very grateful for.

There's so much unrest and uncertainty in the country at the moment that my anxiety is through the roof now we are back home. I am hoping for more positive things in the near future and having the sun back would be a great start.

Beautiful June, started with beautiful weather and lots of hope for me as I started a new role today. Just curious what the future holds but excited about my new role although a little worried wondering how my kids will cope for long hours without me during my full time induction period.

Hello

Today I'm going to take my girl to the park it look like is not that much hot

Feeling a bit of relief now the energy bills have gone down for a short period

Hot hot very hot, windows are open now

The sun shining and small kindness. Today I was in Iceland my debit card bounced as a standing order had gone out I'd not realised. I couldn’t get all the shopping, I had to ask Customer service cashier to take some items off. I’m embarrassed, exhausted, humiliated as holding queue up also.

I walked out after paying for items I could then brain whirling trying to figure out what meals can stretch with items purchased. When a lady starts shouting after me “excuse me excuse me you forgot this" (handing me a bag of the shopping items I'd taken off). I was red in face and shocked 😳 and all she said was “we all been there at sometime, it going to be okay" she turned and walked off. I just stood there stunned and then eventually shouted thank you after them. That a glimmer moment in a grey world xx

It been a stressful during the past week in work and handling the stress with a family.

Too many things need replacing in the house at the same time! The boiler keeps making ominous noises and I’m worried it won’t last much longer either. I’ve been able to replace the broken washing machine because of a buy now, pay later scheme. But the peeling kitchen cupboards, dodgy floorboards, and draughty back door will have to keep waiting.

Sunshine today and I attended the local Community hub, it was very welcoming and really friendly. Warm cuppa offered soup but also a toastie. The community hub also had a clothes swap happening for adults and children. I managed to be kindly gifted some trainers (I was wearing my son’s trainers he outgrew but had holes in). At first I felt proud and offended but the volunteer was so kind and compassionate. I bet you never “treat yourself “, so I have a pair gifted trainers for lovely and no wet tiptoes for me xx

That's all the families big events done now, tween all of us in the main family circle (aka my kids, my cat and I) all birthdays are normally finacially resolved by April. Normally I've got everything for April birthdays sorted in March (I try to get everything needed for any birthday or family celebration by the month before), to spread the cost and often take advantage of post Xmas and new year sales - only this year Easter and Eid we're at almost the same time as my birthday and while I'd happy skip celebrating my birthday, my kids refuse to let lol, plus as kids get older and the things they want to Xmas and birthdays gets pricier it's getting more tricky to spread the costs. Plus cost of living stuff means less funds to work with, so I was anxious about costs and if it'd be able to make the birthdays special on a tight budget.

But we managed and kiddos seemed very happy with their celebrations, big grins and no complaints, lots of laughter and taking the toys they got out to play with immediately and played with as a family (that's one thing I've noticed with buynless physical gift/toy items, is that each gift gets more play and you don't end up with a small pile of toys that are left unopened for days cos they're playing with their fav 2 or 3 items. This means less pressure on them to make adult gift givers happy by performing playing with their item before they're ready too, and means less waste long term for us - ili think even if I manage to magically have more funds in the future, I'll stick to my 3 gifts from mummy limit, so I can make sure those 3 items are as special as possible for their interests (and knowing others will gift too).

They both seemed very happy with their cakes too.

I baked for youngest, a fiddly collection of weird shaped cakes the size of cupcakes based on his theme wish - very fiddly and took alot of time (I can't work due to disabilities but that also means that, if I pace myself responsibility, I can save money by investing my time into tasks that would cost more if someone else had done it for me), so worth the extra work out into it to see little man's face. And an opportunity for me to learn new skills, such as how to mold and shape fondant without buying special specific tools, learning what things can be used instead of the specific tools - like a cheese knife is a great frosting spreader for small cakes, and chop sticks can be used for molding facial features, etc. lol. Resourcefulness is a mark of resilience.

But I did buy a shop made cake for my eldest, partly cos I've never baked the specific flavour cake she wanted before and didn't want to waste money and time if I had to redo everything. But mostly cos I was full of infection at the time her cake needed making and didn't want to accidentally miss washing my hands at any point (I normally wash hands at each step of the process) or do something accidentally gross like cough on the cake, so given those those circumstances I thought it'd work out better (safer even) to buy a simple but not dry/basic cake, that I could redecorate to match requested theme (ironically enough, it worked out cheaper to buy a midrange cake and redecorate myself, even using store pre-made icing, than it cost to make a cake from near scratch (even when using home baking cake kit, cos who can afford a collecting all the individual ingredients when I bake so infrequently that the ingredients would probably go bad tween spring n winter when I next, traditionally in our family, bake cakes for Xmas lol) esp when factoring in electric usage such as oven and mixer usage.

But end of the day, kiddos had lovely birthdays, even though I had less funds to work with, we still managed to make it special. And that's what really counts at the end of the day. It's not how much you spend. It's how you use what you've got to make things unique.

There are ways to make your children feel seen and accepted and understood without costing the earth. My main financial trick I use for trying to birthday on a budget is let the kids pick a theme and then I put a lot of my energy into decorations that match that theme. So like banners, bunting things like that because you can easily make them yourself if you've time. Like printing off images at the library (or a friend's printer in my case this year) to make into posters/bunting/etc. Plus most party decorations can be self made, and you can save a lot of money on that particular element of party planning and prep. But because it's a theme that's important to the child, specifically based on the child's individual interests, then helps to celebrate the child, demonstrating how valued and important they are in the family and as individuals, it's very important for child development to feel seen, accepted and validated within the family unit. Showing an interest in your child's interests helps with this.

And while making decorations or baking, you can stick on a podcast, audiobook or video essay based on those interests and learn about it, and then have something to talk about during the party that, again, demonstrates to your child how important they are to you because you took the time to learn about their interests in detail. That's another free way to make a child feel special and important on their birthday (and throughout the year and their life really, but a lot of time kids interests can accidentally be overlooked or seen as unimportant childish nonsense, cos adults are so overwhelmed and overworked trying to survive in this economy). Especially as poverty often leaves people feeling underappreciated and unwanted in society.

That's what I find works for us anyway.

But I also must admit I'm relieved the family birthdays are done now for 2026. I still have extended family and friends to gift for and celebrate (plus one more cake to bake for a friend with allergies who'd not be able to afford a birthday cake otherwise, and doesn't have the time to bake for herself, so I try to surprise her with one when I'm well enough to bake around her birthday lol). But that means I can focus my budgeting energies on prepping for Halloween and Christmas now and really spread the costs as much as possible. And try to save up for at least one special day trip in the summer holidays.

When you live on a budget you can afford really afford to leave anything to the last minute. However, saying that, I'm lucky enough to be able to pre-plan more than most on my level of benefits income, because I get gifted tween £50-75 family for Xmas and my birthday, because they are so close together, which I can put to the electric and gas bill (my biggest bill after my wheelchair rental and insurance costs, but the latter is deducted from my pip automatically so not a bill I have to think about) and I use that gift to get ahead of E&G payments as much as I can, so if I do end up having to skip a payment sometime then it's less likely to leave me with extra bills due to miss payment charges.

The reality is, while I talk a big talk about spreading the costs and financial tips and tricks, I'm mostly able to do so because I've managed to avoid major debts in the past that many in poverty are forced to use and then get trapped in a cycle of loans and debts and living month to month. I've gone without many times to try to save and skimp where possible. And it's because I've gone without to avoid debts and am very careful with my budgeting and planning, that I am in a slightly better place than many of my peers to be able to spread the cost of birthdays and xmas. I don't share my tips and tricks because I don't believe everyone should be managing their budget the way I do, because that would be ignorant of me - as everyone's family and budgeting needs are different. This is something councils that offer "community budgeting courses" need to learn, I've been on those courses (partly to see if I can learn anything and partly cos not working can be very dull so finding stimulation is very important to maintain mental wellbeing, with or without mental health disabilities) and there are often belittling and insulting in many ways.

We've had a better Easter weekend that I'd expected. I thought it'd feel like less than in the past due to funds meaning I couldn't plan as much as I would usually. However, the weather has been delightful for the most part (today kept flip flopping tween blustery warm sunshine and hail the size of BB bullets, bringing back memories my preteens siblings childhood "BB gang" 😂), but was more amusing than distressing. We've been to the park on Friday, yesterday our council had a mario trail in town for kiddos to enjoy, and today a local free entrance museum had a goth market and Easter decorations around. So had a few free activities we could go too, that cost nothing as I took our own drinks n snacks with us, and we had a lot of fun, I always enjoy talking to people (even while hating being perceived by people, mental health is a queer thing lol), but having my ESA cat with us means people approach us, asking to pet her, and asking questions about her training and they often tell us about their pets, or their Easter or even their disabilities as I'm a wheelchair user with a ESA cat, Amazing the things people tell you when they know you're a safe non judgemental ear. That's why I love talking to people, reminds me that no matter how harsh life gets, and how unfair systemic abuses are across the board, people within every community are mostly kind, caring and keen for connection while stressed and scared. I feel very lucky to live in a town where the local businesses work with the council to offer community activities (I'm very fond of their trails they offer for anything from Halloween to new movie releases, it's gets more financially stable families into the town and spending in small businesses but also offers opportunities for low income families to benefit from free activities). And my local museum is becoming such a popular visiting site for us now that we're recognised by face by staff nowadays. It makes a massive difference to live in a town that has free family and disability friendly events and sites like this, I've lived in places that don't do this as often as my current town does and it felt like a dead place, disconnected communities. And as I was able to save money on outings this weekend, I had a spare tenner which can make a massive difference to a grocery shop (not as much of a difference these days than it used to (I still remember in the 90s shopping at netto as a kid to feed my mum n sibling on a tenner a fortnight lol, money definitely doesn't stretch that far anymore lol), but still makes a difference). We've a small Easter party for friends and neighbours tomorrow and that extra tenner meant we could get a little more food to feed them with, as many allergies to cater for. So I'm very grateful for the nicer weather and the free activities that has enabled me to better provide for my guests and get some nice little treats in for neighbours who often don't have family or health or the funds to get themselves treats. It's a luxury of sorts I suppose, but if mental illness has taught me anything, it's that poverty is more depressing [ ... ] it's having regular treats and small luxuries whenever we can that help tackle poverty induced depression, esp if it involves connecting within one's community. Isolation is hell, community is healing.

Wow it's a new month. April started with beautiful sunny spells. The trees are full of beautiful branches and bright flowers. Yesterday my son was so happy jumping from a tree with beautiful pink flowers to the ones with white flowers he was so excited to play in the sun and to see those beautiful trees. Watching that brought hope to my being, it made me realise that even in hopelessness hope can spring forth.

You know what is even more beautiful about this month of April, is that so many kids will be lifted out of poverty due to the lift of the two child benefit cap. What a beautiful April.