Where to turn? A letter to my SEN child

My darling boy,

I am writing this letter to apologise for failing you as a parent.

For many years now, I have been your strongest advocate, fighting your corner with teachers who didn’t understand, and couldn’t see the bigger picture of all the challenges you face. I have begged, cajoled and, at times, frustratedly raised my voice at parents-evenings and meetings.

I have ensured you had a computer to assist with your dyslexia and dyspraxia. And as a result, you raised your grade from 30% to 70%!

I was promised – two years ago now – that the school had begun the long process of getting you diagnosed with ADHD and autism.

Today, after so many requests for progress, I have found out the forms have been incorrectly filled out (or not filled out at all) by the school. After more than two years, you will be at the very back of the queue to be helped and diagnosed.

I don’t know where to turn. Who will fight for us? Who will make sure you do not slip through the cracks in a very broken system? Where do we go to complain? The schools seem to be able to get away with misconduct and ineptitude with no consequences.

I will continue to fight, to speak to my councillor, to advocate for you, to use every penny I have for my disability, to support you.

At the moment, this situation seems impossible, but your mum will always be your biggest cheerleader; and I will always fight for the best possible future for you. You are bright, kind, and funny. An exceptional child. I wish you the support to be able to shine with your utmost potential.

I am beginning to understand that I haven’t actually failed you. I have just been made to feel that – so many healthcare professionals and teachers have labelled me as neurotic, hard-work, antagonistic even. What I actually am is frustrated, upset and lost.

The broken and complicated system is failing you. I will continue to love and support you, and fight your corner, forever.

My love always,

Mum x